Moana is America’s Sweetheart
Okay, so I only watched 10 minutes of the Bachelor, but I’ll tell you this: Moana is “America’s Sweetheart”. Like that lady in a different Bachelor season whose family member died during the filming, thereby forcing her to cancel a precious date. I think the Bachelor — maybe his name was Bob? Maybe he’s “reality TV famous”, and married a soap star? — felt that going to a family funeral was a sign that she wasn’t serious about dating him. It was also kind of a downer, and it took away from his camera time. That lady — whose name I can’t remember — now she was also “America’s Sweetheart”, but America has a short attention span and is constantly in need of new sweethearts. And now it’s Moana’s turn.
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I wholeheartedly concur Dan…Moana is not just America’s sweetheart she is like the IHOP of America’s sweethearts except unlike Sarah (women in her mid-20’s who still writes in bubble letters and sketches happy faces) she is not bland and immediately able to swallow in that “satiates my hunger but only makes me feel more vapid sort of way.” So really it’s just the “International Sweetheart” part.
My point: “cheesedick” doctor and “I will die in Nashville” deserve to go to the same gym together and I did mean that as an insult. I could go on but if we have learned anything from Moana (and I’ve learned far too much as I’ve found her myspace blog– shut up) it’s time to move on, make ourselves stronger and put Moana on a show where she gets to go on adventures and wear fashionable coats.
Mr. Dan, why does it say I didn’t post a comment? Though In retrospect my earlier post makes me sound prone to reality show editing and slightly mentally unstable I still stand by it. I am never allowed to watch any reality shows again.